Oh Bother

The most intense intellectual debate I've allowed my rather exhausted self over the last few weeks has been what the theme for the wee one's first birthday will be.  I'm a little embarrassed to admit that her favorite thing right now seems to be the Teletubbies.  Now I know this goes against the whole hipster dad ideal and probably exposes me as some sort of bad parent for allowing the wee one to be sucked in by something so inane, or any TV for that matter; after all, I can hear folks saying, she is so young and she can't control her intake.  But sometimes parents need a break and we have this free watch-on-demand channel on our cable, Sprout, which shows all of these low-impact shows for tots.  Well, she's become a fan.  Now you can say to her, "Hi Sproutlets," and she'll turn her head toward the television.  It's rather cute in an "uh oh" sort of way.

So no, this isn't an excuse, this isn't a warning that all of you future parents need to heed, a "beware the Sprout", or a mea culpa for turning the wee one into yet another TV-addicted youf.  She'll be fine.  I've already started feeding her a steady diet of books.  Literally.  She enjoys chewing on the corners.  I'll have her devouring some Kerouac before you know it.  Right now, it's about keeping our sanity, allowing us as parents and as people to catch our breaths for a few minutes, to let the television do what it might be good for, babysitting.  It's not like we do it for hours on end and truth be known she spends most of her Sprout time playing with the toys around her, screaming at the dogs, or plotting ways to impress us her with her cuteness so that she can build up ample toy-buying credit when she hits toy shopping age.

But back to the debate.  Yesterday morning, my wife sent me a link to all of this Teletubby party ware and that's when my alarm bells went off.  First of all, I had given birthday-party theme zero thought.  I figured we'd show up with the wee one and all would go from there.  But of course there would need to be a theme, a backdrop for photos and videos, something to benchmark all of her future birthday parties.  My only concern was trying to make a convincing argument that we don't want it to be the Teletubbies.  After all, she's also a fan of the Teletubby-like Boobahs, and the Boobahs are less well-known, therefore in my skewed version of parent cooldom, this would be better than caving to the popular, this would still allow my baby to be different--separate and somehow better--and will keep us from being one of those parents who think that just because little Danny likes the look of a shiny pistol he'll need to have a cowboy-themed party.  Then I thought, Pooh.  She likes Pooh.  Everyone likes Pooh.  Pooh is classic; Pooh has a certain quality about him.  Pooh gives you this:

Cottleston, Cottleston, Cottleston Pie,
A fly can't bird, but a bird can fly.
Ask me a riddle and I reply:
"Cottleston, Cottleston, Cottleston Pie."

Cottleston, Cottleston, Cottleston Pie,
A fish can't whistle and neither can I.
Ask me a riddle and I reply:
"Cottleston, Cottleston, Cottleston Pie."

Cottleston, Cottleston, Cottleston Pie,
Why does a chicken, I don't know why.
Ask me a riddle and I reply:
"Cottleston, Cottleston, Cottleston Pie."

Can't it be Pooh?  I don't think Elaine was impressed.  "Does she even like Pooh?" she IM'd.  "And is it even possible to find Boobah party stuff?" she continued, her defense of the Teletubbies obvious.  After all, she spends the most time with the wee one and she knows more than anyone what she likes.  That's why I'll probably end up caving.  I'm not going to be some cool-obsessed Neal Pollacky arbiter of taste.  If the wee one loves her Teletubbies then let her have her Teletubbies.  It does mean that I have some work to do if I'm going to get Pooh up to number one in her heart before she turns two.  Or three.

And on the bright side, at least it isn't Barney.

Comments

[TJ]

I'm feeling ya, Jeff. I had a similar panic when a blanket (a blanket!) showed up as a gift. The blanket had a certain pair of ears belonging to a cartoon mouse stitched into the corner. My stomach dropped for a moment at the sight. I'd rather The Boy not be attached to branded goods and services, but what can you do? Kids like what they like. There's plenty of time and plenty of other ways for us as parents to teach our kids about marketing tactics and resistance to ploys and bandwagoneering.

[Kathy]

You've probably chosen by now...but here's my two cents! When my daughter was a toddler, we had a "Go, Dog, Go!" party for her. It satisfied my literary desires, and the kids had fun getting their faces painted like dogs and throwing beanbags at a big foamcore painting of one of the dogs from the book. I forget what other stuff we did...but it was pretty fun! Have a great party!!