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October 30, 2006


David Morrison

when I was a child no one in my family was artistic ,my father was violent and silent but not at the same time really, it was either one or the other. one day on my 2oth birthday I stuck my thumb out to hitch a ride because I had read Richard Brautigan's Trout Fishing in America when I was 16 and couldn't get the freedom it spoke to me about which was so different from what I had witnessed living the life I led with my parents. They were destroyed that I would just hit the road and leave. No one had ever done that in the family before. I am sure I scared them at that time beyond repair. I found myself 3 or 4 days later on a bus headed south through New Mexico sing "The midnight Speacial" a Leadbelly song, on guitar to a bus full of Afro- American OLD TIMEY folk and one white girl who was beside me, late into the night, miles from my home. It was there where I remember being free and safe until the bus stopped and the music stopped and the girl decided to get off along the side of the road to nowhere and asked me to join her. The fear rose inside me that no I could not. I have been trying to relive the moment where and when the whole bus was singing as if chanting lke a mantra..." Let the midnight speacial shine a light on me, let the midnight speacial shine its ever lovin' light on me!". I spent my 20's in the 70's chasing the 60's all the while fighting the demons my own father left me with. He never knew he did the damage he did. I hung to the pain like a wounded man yielding a crutch. I still carry a metaphorical crutch of sorts because it seems to make me whole. Loving the pain gives me solace even though my father dieed in 90 or 91....it's still a blurr just like the 80's and the 90's which were creatively painful because creative they were not. Alas we all have demons and those of us that can shine like Tom Waits battered ,poetic,wise,worn and bewildered are blessed. In fact we all are,for better or for worse.
I must say that i am pleased to share this with you my friend.
I life is full of pain and suffering but to turn it all around somehow into no loss in some way is a soul searching life for us all really.
Thank God for the poets.
thanks again
Joe Calabria


Beautiful. Bukowski rules.

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