If you're like me--someone who could pass out at the sight of an infected paper cut--there are seven words you don't want to hear just before your birth educator hits play on her video presentation: "from the delivery doctor's point of view." I guess you could say that I'm glad I didn't eat breakfast before this morning's class. And it's a good thing that I didn't know what was coming beforehand. Otherwise, I would have had a flu this morning. I would have come up with some handy excuse, anything to keep me from reliving that moment in high school when my AP Biology teacher forced us to watch Nova's Miracle of Life. Many years of not being able to look at, much less eat, red Jello followed.
So there I sat in the uncomfortable metal chair getting more uncomfortable, surrounded by ten other expectant dads each with an uncertain look on his face, waiting for the moment, the point of view moment. It reminded me of watching a horror flick when you know that something is about to happen but you're not sure when. We heard about the stages of labor, listened to interviews with couples including one woman who went on a hike during labor, and then like Jason lunging from a dark closet a head appeared, at least I think it was head. Even the belabored mother in the video said "It doesn't look like a baby." I didn't have time to look down at the painted toenails of the pregnant woman sitting next to me. A head, a neck, a shoulder, BAM!. And I thought, "Damn, that wasn't so bad." But guess what? I forgot about the delivery of the placenta. I'd let down my guard and before I knew it the bloody mass came roaring out and I didn't flinch, afraid to move, fearing that I might lose the breakfast that I hadn't eaten that morning. Maintaining my composure even as the doctor inspected the placenta to make sure it had all come out intact. Actually, it wasn't bad. And now I think I'm prepared. If nothing else, I have a new appreciation for dénouement.
So after calming my stomach with a burrito, I got home and was greeted with another email referral to two amazing YouTube videos. Just the thing I needed: a very young Tom Waits being Tom Waits (part one; part two ). It helped erase the lingering effects of what I'd seen just a few hours earlier. If nothing else, these videos are perfect for a Saturday night. Still, I wonder if I'll be able to eat Jello anytime soon.
My friend, we are watching the same movies these days.
Posted by: Rake | June 11, 2006 at 03:25 AM