The Syntax of Things NFL Season Predictions (Spoiler Warning)

We're minutes away from kickoff of another NFL season, and I can't tell you how excited I am.  I had to stop myself from dressing up in the uniform of my favorite team and running around the neighborhood singing its fight song.  To share my excitement, I decided to hit all of the fabulous NFL sites, listen to all of the preseason prognosticators on the sports radio stations, watch hours of DVR'd NFL Live on ESPN (my that Sean Salisbury is a brain), and as a result, I'm here to give you the fearless first annual Syntax of Things NFL predictions.  Here are ten things I guarantee you'll see this season:

1.  A player from a team on the West Coast will suffer a pulled hamstring.
2.  Fans will pack a stadium in a major city on the East Coast.  Then they'll go home.
3.  A player that plays defense for a team in the NFL will win the Defensive Player of the Year.
4.  A Raiders fan will get drunk and curse players on the opposing team.
5.  One fat guy will block another fat guy and fat guys everywhere will cheer.
6.  It will be cold in Green Bay in December.
7.  Something will happen on any given Sunday.
8.  ESPN will bump the Yankees to the number two story on Mondays and Tuesdays.
9.  I won't win a single week of my office's football pool.
10. A team from the United States will win the Super Bowl.

Take those to the bank!  Seriously, though, does football even start until the end of October?

Comments

[Cindy]

Aw, you baseball fans always get cranky this time of year, when your games get less attention and you are forced to acknowledge that the end of the season is near. Let us football fans have our fun, won't ya?

[Jeff]

If I could understand why baseball gets less attention, then I wouldn't be so cranky. Football is good background noise for a nap on a Sunday after the Braves game has gone final. I'll give it that.

[morally indignant]

But baseball players are on steroids!

[Geoff]

End of October? Try Thanksgiving.