Syntax of Things has a new hero: ex-Major League pitcher Bert Blyleven (pictured right), who should be in baseball's Hall of Fame not only for being a pretty damn good pitcher but also for what he reveals in this interview:
Q: Speaking of pride, what about this T-shirt you've been photographed wearing that says, "I [heart] to fart"?
BB: I LOVE to fart.
Q: What's wrong with you?
BB: I'm honest. Have you ever farted?
Q: One or two times.
BB: And did it feel good?
BB: Probably so. That's why I wore it. I love to fart. I do. When the time is right, I do it. I'm not going to hide it.
Q: You're so blunt about your love for flatulence.
BB: Yeah. Well, someone gave me the shirt because of my history of farting, so I wear it. I LOVE to fart. I think I still have it.
Q: What gets you really gassy?
BB: Anything. The air we're breathing right now.
Q: Should I be ready for something?
BB: I have no trouble. It's not one thing that I eat, it's just passed down from my father. My father was a very good farter. I have a sister who's very good at it, too. Probably better than I am.
Speaking of, I hope my wife doesn't mind me sharing this little tidbit of wee one lore that she sent out in an email to the family:
The other day,I had her [Marlie] on the bed asking her to make a "happy face, sad face" to cough, to sneeze, to hiccup and then, for kicks, to poot. She happily obliged on it all except for the pooting--I didn't hear anything...and I thought to myself, "Elaine, maybe I shouldn't ask her this, it could be trouble..." --but then--all of a sudden, the smell wafted its way up to my nose. A Silent but Deadly she did! A girl that can poot on command! Lovely. Just lovely.
She is her Daddy's daughter, no?
Such talent for a 22-month-old kid. Does her daddy proud!