Hide the Children

Somehow, our pal Ed has the skinny on Madonna's plans to help the children of Malawi.

Here are four of the six projects:
1. Madonna will hire out three of her 280 personal assistants for exactly one hour to offer his services to an underprivileged child, including carrying suitcases, providing foot massages, driving out to the nearest Whole Foods to purchase a snack (is there a Whole Foods in Malawi?), and reading the Kabbalah out loud.

Ed rants so I don't have ta.

Update:  Just to prove that she no longer has a single original idea, Madonna's done gone Angelina Jolie on us.