If the South Woulda Won

Frequent visitors to Syntax of Things know that I'm a self-exiled Southerner, having moved to California in 1998 after spending all of my life in the deepest of the Deep South.  I grew up in a fairly typical white Southern household, where the prevailing philosophy was conservative and Christian with that added ingredient of open and unapologetic racism.  No one in my family would give a second thought to waving the confederate flag from their front porch, and talking openly about the supremacy of the white race wasn't only de rigueur but was encouraged.  I'm not saying that anyone in my family donned the hood and burned crosses (though rumors of my grandad's KKK membership have never been denied or confirmed), but family members didn't mind the presence of what they considered a well-meaning group that wanted to keep law and order and preserve the white identity.

So this past weekend as I sat in the theater watching the new mockumentary CSA, I felt somewhat squeamish.  The movie's premise is pretty simple: what if the South had won the Civil War, what would our country be like today?  It's a pretty bleak premise, considering that in the so-called Confederate States of America slavery is legal, slave trading can be done on the internet, escaped slaves and immigrants are chased down by the CBI (the Confederate Bureau of Investigation) and filmed for a Cops-like television show, racism is just a word, and miscegenation can lead to the ruin of a political dynasty.  I doubt the movie will get much attention outside of some academic and/or Indie film watching communities, but the message is clear.  How much of a stretch is it to imagine this happening in 21st century U.S.?  Thus my squeamishness. 

I thought back to some of the conversations I've had over the years with my family members, knowing that with any power given to them they would have walled off their neighborhoods, would have led a charge to keep blacks from voting, would have made sure that Martin Luther King Jr's message wasn't taught in schools or at least not as the positive and peaceful message of equality but rather as something divisive and ultimately destructive.  I'm not kidding when I tell you that my relatives who lived in Selma, Alabama, during the sixties believe that King was an evil man who created anarchy in the streets of Selma.  "I saw a n---- boy urinating in public," an uncle once told me.  I don't remember if I asked if it was because the poor man couldn't use any of the bathrooms in town because they were all marked "White Only."

Scary stuff, huh?  I think or hope that many members of my family, or at least a few of them, have changed for the better over the years.  I still hear some of the racism and outright ignorance when I talk to an aunt or cousin but for the most part, the use of the n word has lessened and the general attitude toward African Americans has improved, although I wonder if this isn't simply because they know how I feel and they don't want the pinko-commie-lefty California weirdo to get his panties in a wad during those precious few moments that I'm in their presence.  Now that I'm moving back to the South and closer to future family gatherings, I have to brace myself for the inevitable conversation.  I need to figure out whether it's worth the energy to debate racial tolerance with a seventy-year-old woman who thinks that George Wallace didn't go far enough when he stood in the doorway at the University of Alabama.  Believe me, I've held my tongue so much around my family that I can taste my fingerprints.  Will it be any different the next time?

And if for some reason you think that CSA presents an idea that hasn't been voiced in the South, more than likely still is in open and "polite" society, consider that you can still see the rebel flag waving, bumper stickers bearing the slogan "The South will rise again" aren't uncommon, and then there's a song by Hank Williams Jr, the lyrics I somewhat reluctantly reprint beneath the fold, which speaks volumes.  One day they'll bury their swords, but like I've said before, it's going to take time, lots and lots of time.

If the South Woulda Won
by Hank Williams Jr.

If the South would’ve won we'd a had it made,
I'd prob’ly run for President of the Southern State.
The day Elvis passed away would be our national holiday,
If the South would a won we'd had a it made.

I'd make my Supreme Court down in Texas,
And we wouldn't have no killers gettin’off free.
If they were proven guilty, then they would swing quickly,
Instead of writin’ books and smilin’ on T.V.

We'd all learn Cajun cookin in Louisiana, 
And I'd put that capitol back in Alabama.
We'd put Florida on the right track ‘cause, we'd take Miami back,
And throw all them pushers in the slammer.

If the South would’ve won we'd a had it made,
I'd prolly run for President of the Southern States.
The day young Skynyrd died we’d show our Southern Pride,
If the South would a won we'd had a it made.

I'd have all the whiskey made in Tennessee,
And all the horses raised in those  Kentucky hills.
The national treasury would be in Tupelo, Mississippi
And I'd put Hank William’s picture on one hundred dollar bills.

I'd have all the cars made in the Carolina's,
And I'd ban all the ones made in China.
I'd have every girl and child sent to Georgia to learn to smile,
And talk  with that southern accent that drives me wild.

I'd have all the fiddles made in Virginia
Cause they sure can make'em sound  so fine.
I'm goin up on Wolverton mountain and see ole Clinton Powers,
And have  a sip of his good ole Arkansas wine.

Hey, if the South woulda won we'd had it made
I'd prolly run for President of the Southern States,
When Patsy Cline passed away that would be our national holiday,
If the South woulda won we'd a had it made.

If the South woulda won we'd a had it made.

Comments

[TJ]

"I've held my tongue so much around my family that I can taste my fingerprints."

You are getting ready to go home. There's something in y'all's water that makes you experts at producing these original--what are they?--analogies? similies? whatever. These are great.

But it's like curling your tongue. You can either produce 'em or you can't. This northern boy can't.

[Alex]

I don't find any of Hank William's lyrics to be that inflammatory. None of it is racist in the strictly American sense, although it certainly is nationalist. Although, it is a call for the abridgement of economic liberties. But I would give up my rights if every girl spoke like she was from Warner Robbins, Georgia...