New Yorker Sam Apple has won the 2005 Faux Faulkner contest for his "scathing parody" of the Bush administration. The story, "The Admistration and the Fury," can be found at United Airlines' Hemisphere magazine's online site only, the magazine having decided not to include it in the print edition. Though they claim it was because they wanted to bring more attention to the magazine's Web site--and because the story was already printed in Salon--contest organizers are saying that the decision to not print the story has to be political. Believe what you want, but the story is actually pretty damn funny:
Fine day, isn t it, Georgie, Daddy said. Daddy was pitching horseshoes. Horseshoes flew through the air and it was hot. Jeb looked at me. Stand back or one of his horseshoes is going to hit you and knock you down real good, Jeb said. Jeb threw the horseshoe and it went right over the stick and Daddy clapped. Run and get me that horseshoe, Georgie, Daddy said. I ran and picked up the horseshoe. The metal was hot in my hands, and I held it for a little bit and then I dropped it. I picked it up. It was hot in my hands and I started running away from Daddy and Jeb. Come back with that horseshoe, Daddy said. I was running as fast as I could. Jeb run after him and get me my horseshoe before he throws another one in the river, Daddy hollered. Jeb was chasing after me fast. Come back with that horseshoe, Georgie, Jeb hollered. But I was fast and I kept running until I got to the river. Dont you dare throw that horseshoe in the river, Jeb said. I threw the horseshoe in the river. Jeb fell on the ground. Jeb kicked and cried and then I cried.