Dialing In

At 4pm Tuesday afternoon I sat down in my chair, notebook in hand, to make a few notes for something I'm working on.  I had the TV on the Dodgers/Giants game, but I soon found myself distracted.  By 4:30, I had scanned every one of my basic cable channels, jotting down the first sentence of every channel from 1 to 73.  Here is the result of my work; line breaks added and poorly transcribed Spanish deleted in order to enhance the reading experience:

It gives me gas. / The concern I have is that he could have nerve injury and potentially permanent nerve injury although that chance is pretty small. /

The proposed downtown ballpark affected more than the team. / Now he is trapped there. / We were called to assist. /

As you can imagine there are supporters on both sides of the issue. / It was on this date 50 years ago when the worldwide campaign began. / Wait a minute!. / That's exactly what was happening. /

I keep forgetting what we're listening to. / Let me get back to cross-examining you. /

I use it on somebody and I'll expect an outcome and the outcome will be much better than when I started the treatment. / He was hit in the leg. /

It would be almost as if you did a racially isolated school. / What is the rhetoric that is going on lately. /

I bet you two bucks Magic steals the ball. / That's not currently in the bill. /

Wednesday night, mostly clear skies. /

Those doctors are going to want $2500 for a half-day testimony. / I like that small rake. /

I ate a Japanese pear once when you were in Boca. / I have about 100 pair remaining. /

This year, three won't necessarily have the home court advantage. / He went for double 19. /

So you have your own private weight room in here? / We're exposing a younger and younger generation to cosmetic procedures that are probably leading more and more adolescents and young adults to think about it themselves. /

They bring in William Shatner. / I'm going to be the best, most attentive father. / The most radical thing I ever did was paint my parents' lawn jockey white. / We're going to tear that wall down shortly, so I want you to make sure these boys are worth it. / I'd rather not be catapulted. /

Yeah, that's right, my check card was stolen. / We're gonna need a semen analysis on you. /

I think there's a good chance of civil war in Iraq. /

You better start chargin' me rent, cause I'm gonna be up in here every day wid you. / Jesus, what the <deleted> is that? / We've learned our first lesson: try things on. / You've had so much success. /

Do you see her in the courtroom today? /

My concern would be how long I can hold it? / Now they're around my house to cause trouble. /

Cosmo, it's time for you to start asking questions of our two beautiful, mystery guest. / O my god, she's coming to get me. / We give you a problem and you tell us who you feel is responsible. / I have but one glorious quest to concoct the perfect snow-cone. /

They're able to summon something extra. / I think I can save you, but you have to let me help you. /

This thing here is going to pull about 50 g's out of the crash. / Someone help this kid up. / Well, I'll have to go on anyway. /

Kenmore has what you need to make your dream kitchen come true. / It was the first time this had ever been done. /

Hillbillies love it in the hay. / You're hiding something 'cause it's burning through your eyes. / Professor, who did this to you? /

Rob farewells the bull rat with just a wave. / It's always best to get your size when available. /

I'm totally psyched, man! / I'm going for that fruity flavor. /

You walk out of the casino $10,000 richer. / I chose cherry. / They enjoy the enrichment because it gives them something to do. /

The only way to take care of the problem was to get rid of the burn.

Comments

[Geoff]

"The only way to take care of the problem was to get rid of the burn."

Isn't that always the case...

[TJ]

Awesome. Who says TV is a wasteland? More like "The Waste Land." There are some beautiful moments in here.

"I ate a Japanese pear once when you were in Boca. / I have about 100 pair remaining."