If I Never Hear This Song Again...

Sometimes a top "insert number" list comes along that is just too tempting, a list that screams for my attention. In its May issue, Blender serves up its opinion of the 50 worst singles ever. The USA Today story gives us a peak at the bottom 10, a handful of songs that I agree should be banned from radio play. But I have my own list of songs that make me race for the mute button:

10. "You Were Meant for Me"--Jewel. I'll probably be kicked out of San Diego for including this one, but not only did this song launch the career of an utterly annoying singer/songwriter, but it also gave rise to the yodeler. Some may call it vibrato, but I call it annoying. See also: No Doubt & Bright Eyes.

9. "The Sensual World"--Kate Bush. I still get a headache just thinking about this song. I could never figure out what people saw in Kate Bush, but in the late 80s she screeched over my speakers one too many times.

8. "Shiny Happy People"--R.E.M. Sad. I remember thinking that their end was near when I first heard this song. How could a band that I loved so much put out such a horrible song? And then I saw the video and I almost cried.

7. "Mother"--Danzig. Put on the wife beater, grease up the hair, splash on some cheap cologne, and drive your camero around the block with this blasting on the Jensens.

6. "U Can't Touch This"--M.C. Hammer. If I had a dime, etc. This song ruined my freshman-year dorm experience.

5. "Livin' on a Prayer"--Bon Jovi. I don't care how Jon BJ remakes this song--metal, acoustic, symphony orchestra--it still hurts to listen to it. It's all bad hair and crappy lyrics. One can only hope that his acting career will take off so that we don't have to hear the next remade, retooled version of this song.

4. "Danger Zone"--Kenny Loggins. Must I comment on this one? Actually, I could have picked any of Loggins' hits, but this one also makes me think of Tom Cruise, and anything, other than Nicole Kidman, that makes me think of Tom Cruise should be put in a pile and burned.

3. "Dude (Looks Like a Lady)"--Aerosmith. Why does this song have the staying power that it does? For that matter, why does this band continue to pollute the airwaves with the same song/different lyrics every other year?

2. "November Rain"--Guns n' Roses. If you wanted to coax some skeletons out of my closet, lock me in a room and pump this song in on repeat and I guarantee you that I would crack after the second time through.

1. Any single by Madonna. Comment deleted.

Feel free to convince me that I'm wrong or list a few songs that make you cringe. I could think of at least 50 more off the top of the head, but this is the narrowed down list as it stands today.